Trying to appeal to everyone will lead you nowhere, and you already know this principle in your heart.
However, you forget about it in situations that need it the most.
After all, the fear of judgement is kind of inevitable since we, the humans, are social animals irrespective of whether we prefer solitude or festivities.
We seek approval; yes, that’s our instinct.
Nobody to blame, hopefully.
Babies want parents’ attention. Kids want to be cool, handsome, dashing, dope, trendy, likeable, and whatnot. And you want to get recognition for your work, preferably through promotions, hugs, handshakes, and kisses.
When do not get favorable responses, that’s a failure.
And nobody likes to fail.
So, it is alright to fear being judged by others.
Since you cannot change how others perceive you by crying about it, you want to find methods to do what needs to be done no matter how much you fear negative or discouraging feedback from others.
I don’t know whether journaling will solve your issues or travelling will help you develop self-esteem.
For some individuals, hobbies, playful activities, and music feel empowering. And others learn to accept the fear of judgement and get the job done despite worrying a ton.
I guess you will want to experiment with such solutions and craft your own technique to overcome your performance stress and feedback anxiety.
Take care.